Time for Direct Action

So I was reading this column in The Guardian (UK) a while back about a direct action group there called UK Uncut and their fine work in attempting to fend off Austerity measures taken by the British government to get its economy back in check. This Austerity has swept Europe and has resulted in protests all across the continent, namely in France, Spain and the UK.

(An American group has appropriated the name, US Uncut, to fight American Austerity, and I’ve obviously appropriated it here as well for our purposes.)

In reality the Conservative and Labour Parties are essentially doing in England what US politicians in both parties are doing here: squeezing the middle- and lower-classes dry and slashing public spending while funneling piles of cash to Wall Street and other corporate fatcats in the form of tax avoidances and to the four wars we’ve started (Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Yemen).

From the Guardian column:

Campaigners dressed in doctors' coats and armed with fake blood are planning to close 30 high street banks on Saturday in the biggest direct action to date against proposed changes to the NHS.

More than 30 groups across the country are expected to occupy major high street banks, turning them into mock hospitals and setting up "operating theatres" inside to draw attention to the banks' role in creating the deficit.

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Clemson fans have talked, bitched and moaned ad nauseam for several years now. Not that I’m trashing them; the university has earned every bit of criticism levied against it.

The hiring of the inexperienced Dabo Swinney after Tommy Bowden’s dismissal over more qualified candidates like Virginia Tech’s Bud Foster and, as rumor has it, TCU’s Gary Patterson, the virtual holding athletic director Terry Don Phillips at gunpoint to build an indoor football practice facility and training table after years of him poo-pooing on the ideas, the havoc reeked inside Jervey walls by sociopathic boors such as Katie Hill, the lashing out at fans by Swinney early last season when things were clearly heading south only for him to justify the vitriol against him as he ended the season on a losing note...there is so much wrong at Clemson you just shake your head.

But it may be time for the bitching and moaning to manifest into direct action.

The most effective way to bring change at Clemson is quite simple: withhold your monies. Fans who cancel their IPTAY memberships and season tickets will send a message, because the only thing president Jim Barker and the faux-academian, corporate tools like him understand is money. So you hit him where it hurts most - his wallet. Problem is Clemson fans historically are rubes and will gladly give this pathetic university their money in a way no different than the elderly woman who gives her entire social security check over to big-tent carnival evangelists. In both cases it’s a blind, religious adherence to a warped dogma.

A year ago there was a billboard movement started, but the guy charged with creating it plundered the coffers and the agenda went nowhere. While that is a blow, that should not have stopped the movement. In the spirit of our brethren across the pond, here may be some ideas that would pick up where that left off:

Duck Calls: Available at any Bass Pro Shop or other redneck store, these can be used during games when the team starts to screw up or just flat-out wilt. Instead of booing to voice your displeasure, use one of these bad boys to remind Swinney just how many quacking ducks are in the fanbase. Moreover, booing may be interpreted as being aimed at the players, who are only following orders. Given his slap at the fans last season when he referred to them as “quacking like ducks”, the duck call is unquestionably and directly aimed at Swinney, and only Swinney. There’s no way a duck call can be interpreted as being aimed at players given historical context. They range anywhere from $15 on up to $70 or so. (Keep in mind if y’all go this route collectively and use these during games, Clemson will likely come up with a rule forbidding them inside the stadiums. Okay, fine, but you can still use your own voice by going “QUACK!” And make sure it’s nasally. They can’t prohibit you from bringing your larynx.)

Motor Oil: In honor of Swinney’s inauguration back in ’08 when he said that Clemson didn’t need an overhaul but only an “oil change”, then proceeded to win the Atlantic Division title in ’09 (thanks CJ!) before handing Clemson its first losing season since ’98 and first back-to-back losses to South Carolina since the early ‘70s, the use of a quart bottle as a prop is only in order. Perhaps when you’re in Death Valley and Clemson is losing (or looking shitty winning) to a lesser team again, just hold an empty container of Quaker State, Valvoline or whatever to remind Swinney of his dipshittedness. Like with the Duck Calls above, this show of displeasure can’t be aimed at the players; this is all on Swinney.

Pair of Dimes: To say TDP made a shitty hire in Swinney is an understatement. Words can’t really capture the utter imbecility of that move. Since then TDP has been preaching to give Swinney more time, as his so-called “paradigm” is 4-6 years for a coach regardless that the writing on the wall screams poor hire from the start. You can use real dimes, obviously...somehow...but to make a bigger and more public statement at the game or in your tailgating environment, I suggest cutting out two really big cardboard circles and paint a giant silver dime on each. And again, you can proudly hold these up when Clemson is aborting a winnable game as a clear and direct shot at TDP’s moronic hiring philosophy. You can even do it when you catch Swinney signaling plays like he’s done in the past or if you know he’s meddling in the offense (which will be evident).

Straight Jackets: Like the quacking ducks thing, Swinney also took a shot the fans when he said that some of them are “crazy”. Well, if you’re one of the “crazy” ones then lob it back in Swinney’s court - wear a straight jacket into the stadium during gameday. You can optionally add the phrase “5%” to the back (or front). This will make a statement, no doubt.

Wings: When TDP took the AD job, he said during his press conference, “I am going to show you a little about my organizational skills, because I am going to start to wing it. My notes are in the car.” Well, he wasn’t lying, as his decisions to this day and his answers to interview questions feel winged and dodgy. In honor of this, cardboard cutouts of angel's wings or something like that and brought to the game. Make them about 6-8 inches large then affix them to a stick or something. When Swinney screws up, hold these up proudly as a shot at TDP, because he was probably winging it when he made the dumb decision to hire Swinney to begin with. When security approaches you and accuses you of being disruptive, start fanning yourself and say “I can’t have a fan on this hot day?” You can also use the stick mount for the Pair of Dimes.

Gene Stallings masks: Very simple here - find pictures of Gene Stallings, cut out the face and add affix a rubber band to it, then wear this mask during games, tailgating, at Tiger Walk, etc. Because as you know, Swinney used Stallings as a campaign prop to get him this job, so it’s only fitting that we ensure Swinney feels reassured that Stallings is still by his side in spirit.

Spinning Tops: Buy 20 of these things then dump them at the front door of Sikes Hall to represent Barker’s bullshit magazine top-20 goal. If you can get them all spinning, great, as that’ll represent how much this corporate tool has spun statistics and metrics to manipulate Clemson up the rankings. On each one write some metric or statistic Clemson has manipulated to climb the rankings (classroom size reductions, eliminating majors, etc). Or you can box them up and ship them to Barker but a public display of sarcastic unrest if more effective. Shouldn’t have to pay more than $2-3 for each.

Keep in mind those things that can be used during the games aren’t exclusive to game use. You can use them when tailgating, and if you really want to send a message you can use them at Tiger Walk. Imagine a radical faction of fans at Tiger Walk as Swinney passes by, and he’s berated with the sounds of duck calls and has to see Pennzoil bottles raised in the air by people wearing straight jackets.

(Wait, how can anyone hold anything up while wearing a straight jacket? Well, you’re reading this blog so that means you’re smart, which means you’ll figure it out.)

So there you have it, some ideas for direct action. Some may be lame but all will grab attention, and I’ve accounted for the retarded Swinney/TDP/Barker triumvirate in this list.

Comical, perhaps. But it’ll get attention. Of course, I’m sure some of you are wanting something more intense I’d guess, as I’m sure some of you nutjobs are probably considering something insane like painting TDP’s car all orange and then write in white the words “solid orange”, “competitive” and “paradigm” on it or dumping off a herd of goats at Swinneys’ house. Well, you’re not getting it here.

Clemson fans officially enter Austerity

If you’ve read The Guardian (UK), NewStatesman (UK) or Le Monde (France) the past year, you likely noticed a catchy new europhrase to describe all the economic collapses and other malgoings-on in places like Spain, Greece, Ireland and, when it comes to university education and specifically tuition hikes, The Realm.

“Austerity”.

Which basically describes a period of widespread and enormous hardship. And with the release of Clemson president James Barker’s blog where he and university board chairman David Wilkins endorsed failed athletic director Terry Don Phillips and failed head football coach Dabo Swinney, many fans, especially the long-time ones, will begin enduring said hardship.

“Cut the hyperbole; it’s just a game silly!”

Wrong. When you’re talking about fans who’ve spent thousands of their hard-earned dollars each year on IPTAY membership dues, season ticket purchases and tailgating paraphernalia, it’s no longer a game. It’s an investment. And some people spend tens of thousands of dollars each year on games.

Thinking people who view it as “just a game” don’t spend that kind of coin. Unless they’re naive, which many Clemson fans are unfortunately.

No pun intended, but while the HSAS at Clemson isn’t at red alert, it’s a damn solid orange. I shouldn’t have to remind fans of the failures of Phillips, Barker or Swinney (okay, I’ll throw you a bone - Bowden extension then firing him six games later then promoting in experienced receiver coach to head coach, manipulating classroom metrics to climb a magazine’s abstract ranking, meddling in Billy Napier’s playcalling which directly causes offensive failures, respectively), so when university brass endorses this clear string of failure, it sends a clear message to the fans.

“We don’t care and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

They believe this because they know that Clemson fans not just among the most loyal in the nation, but they are so to a big fault. They know many fans have this religious worship of everything Clemson, or that they’re addicted, and they know these fans will pony up their money no matter what. It makes no sense but the fans nor the administration cares.

What the university is to fans is what a televangelist is to the poor elderly. It’s sickening and wrong, but the duped masses “believe” anyway.

Hell, there are many fans who have zero faith in the university, the athletic department and the football program but they still toss Clemson their salad anyway. It’s ridiculous and pathetic. Talk about a bunch of rubes.

In the end, you’ll see Clemson’s fans continuing to shovel money at their addiction, incorrectly thinking that to not give money is the worse alternative, Clemson football will continue to go 7-8 regular season wins with no ACC titles and a quaternary, quinary or senary bowl per year and then reward its bad head coach a contract extension for stability purposes. There will be an outcry, then Clemson will sign a top-15 recruiting class, the fans will rejoice, spring ball will come and Swinney and company will laud the players’ efforts (as if he really is capable of accurately analyzing players), fans will buy into it, summer comes and we hear more hype, fall comes and fans discover that this or that freshman is tearing it up, the hype goes through the roof once again until...

The season starts and Clemson, as normal, looks barfy right out of the gate. Seven to eight regular season wins ensues, no ACC titles...well, you get it.

The cycle starts once again and fans, particularly those who’ve been around for decades, have been stuck in it.

But this time there is no hope of change. Or at least positive change. Because he is his golden boy, Swinney is going nowhere as long as Phillips runs the athletic department, and as we now know from Barker and Wilkins, Phillips is going nowhere as long as Barker is there. And Barker is going nowhere.

The failed status quo is firmly entrenched at Clemson, and the fans and players, believe it or not, will suffer the consequences. Fans will give their money and time for naught, and the players will suffer because they will not be properly coached and developed, much less prepared for the NFL, the dream of many top high school prospects.

Firing off e-mails to the board or the president won’t do. Putting up billboards won’t change a thing. Bitching on message boards is pissing against the wind.

I’m not even certain stopping your contributions will change anything. But at least you won’t be wasting your money any longer.

And at this point, that’s the only way Clemson fans can exit their austerity.

It's over - Max Lennon has won.

Last rumors we've all heard on the possible departure of Clemson athletic director Terry Don Phillips don't offer any resounding hope for athletics, particularly football.

After the past few weeks of hearing of TDP being on a hot seat, that the university board of trustees have taken keen interest in Phillips' leadership for the past year or two, Phillips is out by year's end, and all that, we're now hearing that university president James Barker is not only not going to force Phillips out but that Phillips left the meeting with Barker encouraged?

It's almost a law of physics at this point: whatever encourages Barker and Phillips should be discouraging to fans.

At this point, as fans you have to be solidly in the fifth stage of grief: acceptance. How anyone can still get pissed over the endless stream of poor decisions made by athletic department officials and university brass? This has been 25 years in the making when then-president Max Lennon launched a war against Clemson's nationally-vaunted football program with his “academics will never be subordinate to athletics” manifesto.

But that was then, and this is now. And the mediocrity will....check that, let's not call this phenomenon at Clemson “mediocrity” anymore. This is failure.

Sure, Clemson posts non-losing seasons in football, as the administration is clearly not playing to win as much as they're playing not to lose. But when you have the facilities Clemson has, the fan support, the money (it's there, y'all, Clemson is solidly in the black), the recruits, the tradition and so on and you continue to fall short every single time, that's failure. Because failure is determined by what resources you have available to you and what success is defined as being (ACC title), and when you can't be successful in a terrible football conference with SEC-level resources, you're a failure. Plain and simple.

Laziness, frugality, unjustified arrogance, complacency, visionless, just-another-day-at-the-office – this is the energy at Clemson right now. Abject carelessness and resentment toward anything football by university leadership has been so strong for decades that it's spilled over into all other sports. Clemson athletics has had a significant overall drop in ACC championships, swimming and diving programs have been dropped, and an all-time low morale lives inside Jervey walls as verbal abuse by one or more athletic officials has been widely reported.

How Death Valley still stuffs 70,000+ most autumn Saturdays amazes me. If this were any other school whose fans cared about athletics more than the administration, you wouldn't have near that number.

But at Clemson, you do. And it's because fans have long had this religious loyalty to football, and religion can be a very blinding entity. I direct you to the followers of Muslim extremism and wacko Christian evangelism for evidence. But I do know one thing - you don't make some earthly entity or person (like a coach) into a god, and then follow him into hell. Nor do you don't allow yourself to be put into a position to where if you are considering not giving to Clemson anymore that the university or its henchmen guilt you out of it by convincing you that if you stop giving then you'll be taking food out of some “poor” player's mouth. That just makes you a dumbass and you deserve to get taken for a ride by the carnies at Clemson University if you're this stupid.

How else do you explain why 70,000+ show up every autumn Saturday after spending thousands of hard-earned dollars (in this economy no less) on IPTAY dues, season tickets and tailgating paraphernaila to watch a chronically-failed football program at work? It's religion and that's what the university is counting on. For you to be so blindly loyal that you continue to giving these carnies dollar on top of dollar and they continue to do the same failed things they've always done. They're taking you for a ride – you just haven't realized it yet.

Perhaps it's time for you to wake up a bit out of your drunken stupor from that orange kool-aid bender you've been on for 20 years. Perhaps you should consider other outlets for your entertainment, or pursue some other life path that won't lead you into failure for once. Cut bait and move on from fishing in the same spot that hasn't given you a bite in years.

In other words, if the university doesn't care about athletic success and ACC championships in football, why should you? As a fan you can't do anything to overcome poor leadership. The boosters can't even do that. Clemson's proved it for years.

If you're still worried that if you stop giving then you're turning your back on “your kids”? Don't worry, Clemson graduates numerous people every year, they'll be more than happy to take your spot and loyally feed those starving players in your absence.

Because after all, there's a sucker born every minute.